In my experience as a parent, I feel that the most infuential factor on children is their parents. For children from a family with strong parental support, they have positive experiences where they learn about right and wrong and good and bad from their parents. The same can be said of children who lack parental support. Their negative expereinces shape their beliefs and values. Our book mentions that parents are a child's first mirror (Berns 485). Parents are the first window to the world that children see. If mom fed us green beans, we accepted that as normal. If mom offered us a wine cooler in our sippy cup because she didn't want to get up and get us something else, we accepted that as normal. (Yes, I actually witnessed this when I was in my late teens at a park. If I witnessed this today I would call the police and CPS immediatley.)
Our book tells us that there is a relationship between parenting styles and capable children (Berns 484). An authoratative parent is the most effective at producing capable children. Children thrive on predicibility and structure, so a parent who provides this has children who tend to develop control. The opposite is true for parents who use a permissive or authoritarian style. Their children have much lower self-esteems.
LaJoe was a huge influence on her children - while they were young. Yet once they started school, her influence became less important. Partly because of the environment she raised her children in and partly because she might have wanted it that way. She put such high expectation in her mind of what she desired for her older children - and they each disappointed her. So when it came to Lafeyette and Pharoah, she dreamed, but I think she also felt that feeling of - here we go again - nothing is going to change. Especially when Lafeyette got arrested and into trouble. LaJoe was the one who chose to raise her kids in an environment where a good influence was hard to come by.
So overall, my choice for the biggest influence in a child's development and life would be parents - be it good or bad.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I like how you point out the negatives, and use the relationship that LaJoe had with both Lafayette and Pharoah. The previous disappointments in her children definetly affected them both in subtle, yet significant, ways.
ReplyDeleteI think that parenting style makes a huge difference in how children turn out. I believe that if children are brought up with loving, caring, responsible, authoritative parents they can be prepared for what they will face out in the world.
ReplyDelete